YEAH. I hate myself. It makes me feel like I want to just die.. You know what I mean. UGGH having this kind of situation right now makes me want to overdose meds. Emo-Christmas? I don't think so. Things just recently became unbecoming. This is not the first time I am feeling this kind of situation. But once I did again, I just want to commit suicide (forgive me Father for I have sin) GAAH. I sometimes feel numb about this kind of drama yet, at the back of my mind I am hurting emotionally. Can't stand the fact that you have the most jealous man in the world. Do you really see any kind of love on being a jealous freak?? TELL ME? He really needs to see a psychiatrist at any cost. I mean, He's been paranoid these days where in fact he can't be like that.
I don't know if me and my boy got a language or understanding barrier between us. As much as I know, I am being open and honest to him (not totally) but I am trying to tell him everything. Anybody there got 911 at speed dial?? :( I just want him to be like I want him to be. I love him. OK. That's a fact. It will not change. But, I can't pretend that I am happy with all the paranoia and jealousy he's effing acting up on me. WHEW I hope we can talk about this later. I know that if there is love we can figure it out and find a way out of this ODD situation.
Looking at the bright-side, I got this red bag my Mama gave me earlier. A Christmas present I guess? This bag just save me from having a frown face the whole day. Thanks Mama ♥ and, I hope everything will be ok this coming Christmas day. PLEASE OH PLEASE. I don't want drama this Christmas! It's not even in my wishlist! So, I'mma get rid of it. Ciao!
XOXO ♥
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